Some of you already know that I was adopted by my grandmother (a wonderful Godly woman), who was "Mama" to my little brother and me. I didn’t have a relationship with my birth-mom until I was practically grown, and even then... up to now, even, it’s been the same ol’ same ol’, as in my entire childhood. She might want to be "Mom" today, but then decide not to be, the next day. It’s rediculous, I know, and there has been much, much pain involved, because of it. I forgive and try to forget, yet history repeats itself over and over again.
The same was true again yesterday. When I called my aunt to check on my uncle, who is in the hospital, on life-support (he is my birth-mom’s brother), I was told she was there at the hospital, so I asked to speak with her. My aunt tried to get her to the phone, but she refused. Like I said, history repeats itself.
The ironic thing is that her birthday is this coming Saturday, and I had just mailed her a card. It hadn’t had time to get there yet, of course, but in it, I simply told her that I loved her, and that I was praying for her.
For many years, I’ve caught alot of slack from people who say I shouldn’t have anything at all to do with her. But I don’t believe that’s the way I need to be towards her. My Bible teaches me that we are to bless those who hurt us (Luke 6:28). We are to love our enemies (Matt. 5:44; Luke 6:27,35). We are to forgive (Matt. 6:14,15; 18:35; Mark 11:25,26; Luke 6:37).
In all honesty, isn’t that what Christ did for us? Before we were saved, we weren’t His children. We weren’t considered "friends of God" then. So what’s the opposite of "friend"? Ahhhaa... "enemy".
So until we became Christians... born-again believers... we were enemies of God. Yet, look at what He did for us, regardless. Romans 5:8 tells us that even while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
So while the Bible also teaches us that we are to love one another as He loved us (John 15:12), why then should we feel like we’re above doing what He, Himself, did?? We shouldn’t! And that’s my reply to all those who disapprove of my trying to have a relationship with my birth-mom, despite what she has or hasn’t done.
I ask today that you join me in praying for her. (Her name is Sandra.) I fully believe that God has a plan for her life, as much as for mine, and He’s given me a burden to see her live for Him. I’ve seen the Lord work great and mighty things, in and around this crazy situation. Let me explain...
The Lord brought us in contact again in November 2005, after about 2 years of no contact whatsoever. (Again, with this "cycle"!). About 3 months later, she called me and told me of my step-dad’s having been diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver, and that the doctors said he only had a few weeks to live. Well, immediately my husband and I (and my infant nephew, who was living with us at the time) went up there to visit, with the sole purpose of leading him to Christ, before it was too late. (We were determined.)
As satan always does, when one attempts to free someone else from their eminent eternal torment in hell, he provided absolutely every possible distraction and hinderance to our "mission". Everything from phone calls, visits, my step-dad’s extreme fatigue and falling asleep mid-sentence... you name it, we fought it.
It was getting late, and after yet another visitor came by (and didn’t want to leave), we were so frustrated that we were the ones who left. My birth-mom walked us downstairs and saw us off, and we got about 3 blocks away, before the Holy Spirit stopped us, and reminded us of why we had driven 5 hours to get there in the first place, and urged us to go back. My husband stayed downstairs with the baby, and I went back up. I told the visitors I had something to talk to my step-dad about, and they were welcome to stay and hear it, or they could leave. But either way, I was gonna do what I came there to do. (Of course, the visitors left... and threw the gospel tracts I had given them on the floor of the elevator, too, I might add).
I began by telling him how much the Lord had done in my life, and all that He’d delivered me from. And how wonderful it was, knowing that all my sins had been forgiven, and that I knew I’d spend eternity in Heaven when I died. I then shared with him my burden for his eternal security. I went through the whole plan of salvation, taking him through the Romans Road. He didn’t fuss or complain, and miraculously, he did stay awake through all of it. But still, he had this look, as if to say, "That’s nice, little girl." I could almost sense him wanting to pat me on the head, to patronize me.
He was tough. There was definitely a wall there, but just before the point of giving up, I saw his whole countenance change. As I continued on with how much I wanted to leave there (knowing that I wouldn’t see him alive again) with the assurance that I would see him in Heaven, I watched this grizzly bear transform into a teddy bear. He broke down, and then I led him in a sinner’s prayer, where he asked Jesus to come into his heart. The Lord had performed a miracle right before my very eyes, and allowed me to be used in it. What a blessing!
The devil, of course, will always cause one to doubt anything the Lord does, so as we drove down the highway about an hour or so later, thoughts began to trouble me... that maybe he didn’t really mean it... maybe he was just trying to get me to shut up and get out of there.
But God... as always... is right on time, to cast away those doubts. He placed in the sky before me the most beautiful, complete rainbow. It was as if He gave me a sign to show me that it WAS real. I managed to get a picture of it, and I remember praising God for both gifts, that day.
Thirteen days later, my step-dad died. And because of the Holy Spirit working in our hearts that day, causing us to "go back and finish what we came for", I have never doubted where he might be today. I know he is in Heaven, and I’m so thankful for that assurance.
So you see, God does have a plan for my birth-mom’s life... despite all the pain and sorrow of the past (and present). He’s placed within me a burden to teach her in the ways of the Lord. She’s already witnessed His hand at work, and I’m confident that He will do a miracle in her life, as well.
Again, please join me in praying for her. Whether she ever wants to have a real relationship with me or not, that doesn’t matter. What truly does matter is that she has a real relationship with Christ. That’s the desire of my heart... for her, and for so many others in my family, whom I love.... and most importantly, whom the LORD loves.
Life is indeed complicated sometimes, but even so... I belong to Jesus, so as long as He's by my side, it doesn't matter who else is or isn't.
Thank you for your prayers. God bless you!
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